Do you belong to yourself?

”Our identities are forged in the crucible where our internal desires meet our external demands and our need for becoming meets our need for belonging.” Brene Brown


For me one of the biggest lessons of the year 2018 has been “Things happen when they happen.” It was challenging to accept that because I am often impatient and want to lean forward. I wanted to write this earlier but it took what it took and is now ready to be shared. I had to experience my vulnerability, which is the birthplace of love, joy, trust and courage – everything that brings meaning to our lives; as Brene writes.  Hope you find something to learn about this and we could start a discussion about  these kind of issues face-to-face!

“All of us will spend our life constantly strengthening our back, softening our front, and trying to listen to the whispers or our wild heart.” Brene Brown

In March 2018 I asked myself in Narrative Coaching workshop in Bristol interesting questions and got meaningful answers. What did I want to leave behind? For me it was important to get rid of roles, fear and tiredness. And then, what did I want to move forward to? I longed for freedom, joy, energy and wellbeing. I wanted to be proud of myself and do things on my own way.  What would you like to answer to these questions?

Someone said it is very important to belong to someone or something that you could be you. What do you think about that, is it really so? I have tried to belong to many work places and family, tried many study and hobby groups and so on. Sometimes I have felt that I belong to and sometimes that I don’t. Am I different than everyone else? I don’t think so. I have tried to fit in and belong to as many other people do, who want to be similar as the others and forget their true self.

What is the difference between belonging to and fitting in? True belonging is belonging to yourself, and to be yourself instead of copying someone else. Is it really possible to belong to yourself? How does it feel and how someone else notices the difference? One answer could be that you do your own decisions and choices, it doesn’t matter if you are at work or somewhere else.

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” Brene Brown

Do you really have courage to follow your heart? What is your purpose in this world? What kind of things makes your heart ticking?

I have been around these questions during the year 2018. I started to work as a full-time entrepreneur and as a professional coach. Do I really trust my capabilities…  and the most important, do my clients trust enough so that they would like to make an agreement with me?  I have to admit standing alone has sometimes felt scary and it has been easy to suspect my own ability to move forward and meet the uncertainty courageously.

Trustfulness is especially important in this kind of sensitive business as coaching always is. Even when we start to discuss about work related changes there is always a whole personality in the situation, which has to be met with care. The other very important issue is identity. Work identity is a very important part of adult identity. The truth about who we are lives in our wild hearts. Longing for to grow as a human and experience things bravely keeps our hearts fresh and live against constant evaluation, especially our own.

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” Maya Angelou

– Braving the wilderness. The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone. Brené Brown (2017) –

#awareness #identity #growth #purpose #meaningful #leadership #transition #transformation #vulnerability #happiness #joy #businesscoaching #turncoaching @turningheadscoaching

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